Does My Cat Miss Me When I’m Traveling?

No one has ever accused me of being a homebody. In fact, one of my favorite things to do is pick up and hit the road on a whim. (Maybe it’s because I’m a Sagittarius rising.) Last-minute work trip? Sign me up. Far-flung family member in need of assistance? I’m there. Impromptu solo vacation? Yes, please! My cats, however, seem less enthusiastic about my penchant for suddenly disappearing. When I got home from my most recent adventure, my cat sitter (aka sexy cat dad boyfriend) told me how much my kitty crew missed me, reporting that they “seemed melancholy” and rebuffed his attempts to console them with treats and cuddles.

Was he projecting? Or do my cats actually miss me when I’m away? I think they might just miss being able to manipulate me into giving them their dinner early. (I’m more of a pushover than my boyfriend is.) But maybe they really are sad to see me pull my suitcase out of the closet. Exactly how guilty should I feel when I abandon my feline trio? I turned to the experts for an answer.

Cats don’t like change.

“It’s likely that cats do miss us to some degree,” cat behaviorist Joey Lusvardi tells me. To exactly what degree, though, is hard to say. He suggests that any shift in my cats’ behavior when I’m away may be due more to the disruption in their routine than because they’re pining for my presence. “Cats don’t love changes in their schedule, so it’s possible that’s why they are stressed,” Lusvardi says. “But even in that case, I’d argue it’s a sign the cat misses us, because we’re part of their daily routine.”

Dr. Zac Pilossoph, a consulting veterinarian at Healthy Paws Pet Insurance, agrees that a change in their schedule can be upsetting to a cat. “When pet parents travel, the cat’s routine is interrupted, which may lead to stress or anxiety,” he says, adding that this may manifest in behaviors like peeing and pooping outside the litter box, excessive grooming, or hiding. I’m relieved to report that my cats, while they may appear to be moping, don’t do any of those things when I’m gone. Guilt, absolved! Maybe… 

Cats do play favorites.

Cats have a reputation for playing it cool, but don’t be fooled into thinking this means they don’t care who feeds them, cuddles them, and scoops their litter. “Though cats are often portrayed as aloof and independent, they are quite the communicators,” Dr. Pilossoph says. “Cats tend to favor one person over others, even if they were well-socialized as kittens. Once you’ve formed that ‘favorite person’ bond with your cat, it’s safe to say they miss you when you’re gone.”

“Cats are creatures of habit and often form strong connections with their pet parents through the human-animal bond,” says Dr. Nell Ostermeier, a veterinary advisor at Figo Pet Insurance. She raises the possibility that my cats aren’t totally comfortable with the person taking care of them in my absence. “Cats can be quite particular about the people they trust.” (Sorry to my boyfriend if you’re reading this; don’t take it personally.)

Signs your cats missed you while you were gone

It’s true that when I get home, I notice an increased demand for lap time and pets. “Even not-super-affectionate cats will become extra snuggly upon return from a trip,” Lusvardi says. But some of the ways cats show you they missed you aren’t so sweet. 

“‘Needy’ behaviors such as knocking things off counters, going to the bathroom in inappropriate places, making mischief or otherwise causing damage, and excessive vocalization when they see you again may all be signs that your cat felt lonely with you away,” Dr. Pilossoph says. “They are expressing those emotions in a cat-specific way.”

Wondering if your cat was blue while you were away? Common clues include:

• Not finishing their food when you were gone

• More meowing than usual when you return

• Following you everywhere (forget about going to the bathroom alone)

• Excessive grooming

• Hiding or seeming withdrawn

• Destructive behavior

• Peeing or pooping outside the litter box

These cry-for-help symptoms should resolve fairly quickly, once you’re home. But if they don’t, Dr. Pilossoph says it’s wise to book a vet visit, just in case a medical issue is behind the unusual behavior. Stress and sickness can look similar in cats, so it’s best to be sure there’s not something else going on.

How to make your absence easier on your cats

My cats start to get anxious before I’m even gone; I know because they like to pile into my open suitcase while I’m packing. (Or maybe my suitcase just looks like a comfy cat bed to them.) And while there’s no way to fool them into not noticing my absence, experts recommend a few things to ease the sting:

• Keep their feeding and play schedules consistent (I leave lots of Post-It notes for my cat-sitters).

• Use the same cat sitter whenever possible (cat-loving neighbors come in handy here).

• Leave toys and treat puzzles out so your cats don’t get bored.

• Try using pheromone diffusers if your cat seems anxious .

One of the perks of being a cat parent, rather than a dog parent, is that it’s easier to leave cats alone for long periods of time. But they do miss us when we’re gone. And let’s be honest: We miss them, too. So, no matter how good your cat sitter is and how independent your cat is, it’s important to take some extra time to bond with your cat when you’re home.

As I write these words, Freddy is curled at my feet, and her brothers are settled in next to me on the sofa, one on each side. In our case, at least, absence does seem to make the heart grow fonder.