8 Signs Your Dog Thinks They’re in Charge of the House

You’ve seen all the signs: Your dog is lounging on your furniture, taking up your side of the bed, refusing to eat anything but the most gourmet meals. To you, it seems like they are walking all over you... and maybe you’re letting them.

Dog trainer and founder of Lavender Garden Animal Services Sian Lawley-Rudd says that, while it might seem as if your dog thinks they’re the boss, this behavior could signal something different. “When dogs look like theyWHore ‘in charge’, it’s usually not about trying to dominate anyone, it’s more about uncertainty, unmet needs, or behavior that’s been reinforced without us realizing,” she says.

While you might think these behaviors are just a bit annoying, they can also be signs of deeper issues. Lawley-Rudd says that dogs feel like they have to manage everything when they don’t have enough guidance, structure, or safety from their humans. “It’s absolutely fine for dogs to have autonomy, choosing where to sleep, sniffing on walks, opting out of interactions, as long as they feel safe and supported,” she says.

Ivan Petersel, dog trainer and founder of Dog Virtuoso, says if your dog is exhibiting dominant-seeming behaviors, it’s essential for you to get them to relax. One tip he offers is to leave and return home calmly. “I greet the dog only when they’re calm, even if it’s just for five seconds,” he says. He adds that when you reward positive and relaxed states of mind, it gets them to chill out and understand they are not in charge.

We’ve broken down eight signs that your dog thinks they rule the roost. If you notice them, you can work on identifying your pup’s unmet needs — and gain a little more control of your environment again.

They constantly solicit affection.

If your dog constantly seeks affection from you by pawing, barking, licking, or climbing all over you, it can appear adorable. In fact, you might even secretly want it. But it can be a sign of deeper issues. “Pushing for attention constantly is usually a sign they struggle to self-regulate or switch off,” Lawley-Rudd says.

You shouldn’t give in to their demands instantly, no matter how hard it is. Instead, let them try to self-regulate and settle down first.

They jump on guests.

Petersel says that jumping on guests is an instantly recognizable sign of demanding and self-rewarding behavior. It can be annoying, but at the same time, Petersel believes that dogs don’t really like to be in that mental state, either.

You can prevent the jumping by insisting that your guests don’t reward it. Once a dog realizes that they won’t get any attention until they calm down, they’re likely to learn to remain that way when the doorbell rings.

They protest when they’re not allowed on furniture.

No matter how many times you tell them, some dogs are insistent about getting on the couch, bed, or other no-no furniture. Some might even get aggressive when they’re moved.

Lawley-Rudd says that clear, consistent routines are the best way to make a dog feel secure and supported enough that they don’t act out. In this case, that means communicating clearly with them about what the rules are: Either never let them on the couch, or let them all the time.

They’re aggressive toward other pets in the house.

You need to watch out for dogs who insist on controlling all interactions with other pets and visitors, Lawley-Rudd says. She says this is “often a sign of overarousal, fear, or that the dog feels pressured to manage the environment themselves. This can also manifest in aggression toward other pets or even people in the house. This kind of behavior can be quite serious and might require additional training or support from an expert.”

They whine, bark, and demand.

A key sign of a dog who thinks they run things is they whine and demand attention incessantly. “They behave like a dog who was never shown boundaries, never learned self-regulation, and was allowed to practice a ton of self-rewarding behavior,” he says.

Often, they do this because the humans around them give up — either out of annoyance or because they think the behavior is cute. The dog then learns to push harder, reinforcing the negative behavior. Instead, you can’t ever give in to their demands, no matter how hard it is. 

They ignore cues.

If you call out a familiar cue and your dog ignores you, it might appear as if they don’t think they need to do as you say. But, Lawley-Rudd says, it often isn’t actually stubbornness. They could be confused, stressed, or distracted.

In some cases, it’s simply that you haven’t practiced the behavior in real-life environments. If this is the case, you need to be consistent and make sure you’re teaching them the cues in all situations.

They make all the decisions on walks.

This kind of boss-like behavior can take place anywhere that you and your dog spend time together. If they want to call all on the shots on walks (No, I don’t want to go that way; I’m done walking) and seem to struggle to focus, it might appear as if they think they’re in charge. But Lawley-Rudd counters that it can be a sign they don’t feel safe for whatever reason. If your pup acts like this, you may need to work with a trainer to establish the best way to walk together so that everyone feels supported.

They resource guard.

If you’ve noticed that your dog resource guards things like their toys and food, Lawley-Rudd says that it’s often a sign of insecurity, anxiety, and past traumas. They feel as if they need to protect what is important to them because they are afraid it may be taken away.

Petersel says that you can tackle this behavior with “semi-structured” access to high-value items like toys. “This teaches dogs that fun comes through you, not self-rewarding behavior,” he says. By doing this, you can reassert that you will always share resources and that they don’t need to hoard them.