5 Ways Cats Say ‘Thank You’

When I got home from a trip recently, all three of my cats swarmed me to say hello. I had one in my lap, one perched on the sofa behind my head, and one at my feet. As I stroked their soft fur and murmured about how much I’d missed them, they slow-blinked at me and purred. “Thank you for coming back,” I could almost hear them saying. I could feel the gratitude coming off of them in waves. However, according to cat behaviorists, that might be wishful thinking on my part.

“Gratitude is a human concept,” says Joey Lusvardi, founder of Class Act Cats. He says that cats don’t have a cognitive framework for saying “thank you” the way we understand it, which means they aren’t capable of being grateful for the food, toys, or care we provide. That distinction matters, Lusvardi explains, because people sometimes interpret normal cat behavior as ingratitude.

But if your cat refuses a certain food or ignores a new toy, it’s not a rejection of you. It’s simply a preference. “They might not like that flavor,” he says, “much like how we don’t like every flavor.”

Heather Alvey, a certified cat behavior consultant and owner of Felidae Behavior Consulting, puts it even more directly. “I wouldn’t say that our cats have the ability to say thank you,” she says. She wishes that rather than assigning human emotions to our cats, pet parents would appreciate what is actually going on. “When we do good things for our cats, what that does is create a bond built on trust and confidence.”

So, OK — my cats may not be expressing gratitude, exactly. But they are communicating something real: comfort, pleasure, and a sense of safety. Those are the true currencies of the human-cat relationship, and when you know what to look for, you'll see them everywhere.

Here are five of the sweetest behaviors that feel like a big ol’ thank you.

They purr.

Purring might be the number one behavior people associate with a happy cat, and for good reason. Lusvardi notes that it commonly shows up when a cat is enjoying something, whether that’s petting, playtime, or simply being near their favorite human. While that low, rhythmic sound may not be a verbal thank you, it’s a signal that whatever is happening feels good. And when my cats are relaxed enough to purr, it feels good to me, too.  

They rub against you.

Rubbing against your legs, arms, or face is another classic cat behavior that feels like grateful affection — and it is, in a way. Cats have scent glands in their cheeks and along their bodies, and when they rub against us, they're marking us as familiar and safe.

“They may initiate contact or do things like rubbing up against us,” Lusvardi says. For him, this is one of the clearest signs that a cat is pleased. One of his cats, Poutine, takes it a step further with enthusiastic tail shaking. “Sometimes, if I say something to him when he really wants attention from me, his tail will vibrate, and he’ll rub up against my legs.” So sweet!

They bunt you.

Bunting — that gentle headbutt cats give with the top of their head — is reserved for the people and animals a cat feels truly comfortable with. It’s a social behavior, a way of mingling scents, and it reinforces the human-cat bond. Lusvardi’s cat Poutine is a devoted bunter. “After we’ve played or I do something he really likes, he’ll give me a gentle headbutt to say, ‘Hey, thanks for that!’” While it may not be gratitude in the human sense, it’s an unmistakable sign of connection.

They choose to be near you.

Cats don’t feel a sense of social obligation; they don’t stick around to be polite. (I could take a page from that book, honestly.) So when our cats choose to sleep in the bed with us, sit on the sofa with us, or follow us to the bathroom, it means something.

“When a cat feels comfortable, trusts you enough to relax around you, and chooses to spend time with you, that, to me, is all the thanks I need,” Alvey says. “It tells me I’ve done something right in supporting their sense of safety and wellbeing.”

They fully relax.

A cat who is stretched out, belly exposed, eyes at half-mast, is a cat who feels safe. This kind of relaxed body language is one of the strongest indicators that a cat trusts their environment. As Alvey puts it, consistent and kind care builds “a bond built on trust and confidence.”

When they purr beside you, rub against your legs, or curl up in your lap when they could be somewhere else, they’re telling you something important: They feel secure, and they know that their needs will be met. So, while my cats will never write me a thank-you note for cleaning the litter box, buying the fancy food, or returning from a trip, knowing they feel safe with me is thanks enough.