13 Things Your Dog Wishes You Would Stop Doing

Don’t you wish your dog could give you a list of their specific likes and dislikes? Their favorite and least-favorite treats; their preferred and less preferred walking routes; the things you do that make them happy, and the things they find completely irritating. That way we could build them their ideal life, free from even a moment of displeasure — which is, of course, what they deserve. 

Interaction and observation can fill in the blanks for a lot of these. (For example, I know my dog loves, for whatever reason, a specific kind of peanut butter-flavored dental treat, and I know he hates being anywhere with a crowd.)

But things can go unnoticed for even the most observant pet parents. To get a clearer picture of what might be on your dog’s “dislikes” list, we talked to two experts about the behaviors and situations dogs often find difficult or stressful.

Here’s what you should avoid:

Not making time for them

We know we need to provide our dog with the necessities — a warm home, food, and safety. But don’t neglect the fact that they also need you.

“Interaction is a huge part of the human-animal bond,” says Dr. Beth Burgin, lead veterinarian partner at CityVet in Murphy, Texas. It builds trust, enriches both of your lives, and helps satisfy your dog’s social and emotional needs. “So, making space in your busy day for specific interaction with your dog will go a long way!”

This can mean playing, going for a walk, having a good scratch session or massage, or whatever kind of togetherness is most important to your dog. “Let them have a choice in that!” 

Giving them hugs (unfortunately)

This one is a heartbreaker, but hugs just don’t always mean the same thing to our dogs that they do to us. “Some humans have been socially conditioned to consider hugs to be affectionate, but most dogs don’t,” says Dr. Crystal Heath, veterinarian and executive director of Our Honor. “Restraining a dog with your arms around their body, moving your face close to theirs and making lingering direct eye contact can be stressful for dogs.”

When you do this, they can feel trapped, crowded, and anxious, and they can attempt to communicate this through signs like turning their head away, lip licking, and showing the whites of their eyes, aka whale eye. “I have been guilty of this with my own dog,” says Dr. Burgin, “but hugging a dog by bending over them can be perceived as threatening.”

Skipping their need for mental enrichment

Exercise is a major need for many dogs, but less known, perhaps, is their (equally as important) need for mental stimulation. They need to sniff, problem solve, and explore. “It can look different for everyone, but finding a way to make sure to give mental stimulation, sometimes through puzzles, as well as physical stimulation, in consistent exercise, goes a long way,” Dr. Burgin says.

Lack of appropriate mental enrichment can show up many different ways, like in so-called “bad” behavior (unwanted chewing or shredding, barking), inability to settle, and increased anxiety. Help them get the enrichment they need by going on sniff walks, giving them puzzle toys, letting them play with snuffle mats, and other dog-friendly activities — check out more ideas here.

Bringing them to crowded places and events

“It can seem like such a fun, sweet memory to share to bring your dog along to outdoor festivals, ball games, or even a Christmas tree farm,” Dr. Burgin says. And she notes that, as long as you consider your dog’s needs and temperament, taking them out in public can be a good opportunity for socialization. “However, I often can see dogs in these situations get really stressed, especially when the outing stretches on longer than they have the capacity to mentally handle.”

Crowds, noises, and other dogs can add to their stress, as well as weather-related stressors like heat, cold, lack of sufficient shade, and hot concrete. In these situations, they’d likely be much happier staying in the comfort of their own home.

Making their environment too loud

Dogs have an amazing sense of hearing, which means their ears are incredibly sensitive — far more sensitive than our own. So, we have to be mindful that what is simply “loud” to us might actually be unbearable for them. “Be mindful of loud noises such as door slams, raised voices, children screaming and playing, and loud power tools or home appliances,” Dr. Heath says. 

Of course, noises like this are sometimes unavoidable in the home environment, so Dr. Heath advises to help your dog out by designating certain spaces where they can relax without being disturbed. “A bed in a quiet corner or an open crate, or access to rooms where the noise is lower, provide these safe zones for hiding when they are stressed.” 

Overdoing obedience sessions — and not using rewards 

“I appreciate it when people have well-trained dogs,” Dr. Heath says, “but training sessions should be short and enjoyable.” The training style fueled by dominance theory has long been debunked, and it only increases stress for everyone involved.

sCooperative, reward-based training, in sessions that are not excessive in length, keeps things fun and effective. “Excessive ‘obedience’ drills without rewards requiring dogs to sit, stay, or heal can create stress and frustration,” she adds 

Not understanding what they’re trying to communicate

It is incredibly important to learn about your dog’s body language so you can better understand what they’re trying to tell you. “We humans need to empathize with our dogs and learn how they communicate their preferences to us,” Dr. Heath says. Dr. Burgin agrees. “Everything about how a dog carries him or herself can tell how they are feeling in a specific moment,” she says.

“A dog who is uncomfortable or overwhelmed tends to have a guarded posture,” Dr. Burgin says. “Most people can pick up on a tucked tail as a broadcast of a dog being unhappy, but a more subtle sign is a more rigid or fixed posture where it is hard for them to relax.”

She says personality can play a role in how they hold their ears, but ears are also a great indicator of how they’re feeling. For example, eears held closer to their head can show discomfort in the moment. “Overwhelmed dogs also often lick their lips and give a lot of side eye,” also known as whale eye.

Putting them through “weekend warrior”-style exercise

“‘Weekend-warrior’ exercise can be another thing I see,” says Dr. Burgin, “where dogs don’t get consistent exercise and are not in shape, then are hurting or very sore after getting the opportunity to enjoy a fun activity with their family.”

Dr. Burgin says this can happen when you take your dog on a long hike or walk or swim constantly while on vacation. Consistent exercise is key to keeping your pup healthy and feeling good. This way, their body is ready to enjoy these special exercise opportunities when they come up. 

Rushing them on walks

Too often we as pet parents rush our dogs along on walks, which are one of the best opportunities they have for mental enrichment and information gathering. It’s much better to slow down, and make sure you set enough time aside to let them sniff and linger.

“On walks, let them choose the pace and let them spend time sniffing the ground,” Dr. Heath says. “These adventures drastically improve their life.”

Forcing them to interact with other dogs and strangers

Another important thing to remember about walks is that forcing interaction can be incredibly stressful — this goes for your dog and other dogs you see while outside. (Yes, we know “he’s friendly!”. But that doesn’t necessarily mean the two dogs need to meet.)

“Some people pull on the leash to encourage dogs do come forward and meet new people or dogs,” Dr. Heath says. “This not only adds leash tension but it can add emotional tension as well. They feel trapped, and this can increase their stress.”

Increased stress is bad enough on its own, but it can also lead to unfortunate situations like fights and bites. Better to just enjoy a peaceful walk together.

Not giving them time to decompress

I know how important decompression time is for me, (extremely important, probably the most important), so why should it be any different for my dog?

“Many dogs need quiet downtime just as much as activity,” Dr. Heath says, “so honor your dogs need for decompression and allow them to relax in a quiet space.” That could be a bed in a quiet room, a covered crate with the door open, or some time sniffing outside in the yard or on a walk. 

Surprise-attack petting sessions or petting in ways they dislike

We usually associate the “surprise-attack” pet session with children. In other words, this is the moment when they run up to a dog, quickly get in their space, and pet them on the head or face while standing over them. But it’s just as jarring for dogs when adults do it. “It’s more respectful to calmly and quietly approach from an angle with your hand palm up, and allow the dog to close the gap if they want to be petted,” Dr. Burgin says.

And keep in mind that their idea of a good petting session might not be the same as yours. “Many people immediately try to stroke a dog on the top of the head,” Dr. Heath says. “But many dogs find this overhead reaching threatening.”

Instead, they might prefer side strokes, chest rubs, or scratches near the shoulders. The same goes for the length of the petting session. “Some people show love through petting but many dogs just prefer short petting sessions,” Dr. Heath says. “Continuous petting can be too much.” Make sure to watch for signs of discomfort.

Forcing handling they’re not comfortable with

As you likely know, trimming nails, brushing, and veterinary exams can be incredibly stressful situations for dogs. One way to make these unavoidable situations less anxiety-inducing is to use consent and cooperative-care training with your dog.

Here, adds Dr. Heath, “animals are allowed to say ‘no’ and opt out until they are less stressed.” These techniques have been shown to reduce heart rate, positively alter stress indicators like heart‐rate variability (HRV), and improve your overall relationship.

“This type of interaction improves welfare and decreases the likelihood of aggressive responses,” she says.