6 Signs Your Dog Is Feeling Lonely

Our dogs might not play “Creep” by Radiohead while baking and then subsequently eat an entire boxed cake recipe when they’re lonely, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel it. Like all of us, dogs require a certain level of socialization — both with their own kind and with their humans. And when those needs go unmet, they can start feeling agitated and, to borrow a label from Thom Yorke, act like total weirdos.

Loneliness, as we understand it, is a bit of a human concept; dogs who don’t enjoy enough social time don’t sit down on the couch, sigh, and think to themselves, “I’m really lonely.” Still, just like with people, isolation can leave our pups in a particular kind of distress. From the outside, our dogs’ expressions of that grief might seem strange or even frustrating, but in reality, separation anxiety and other behaviors associated with canine loneliness come from a place of real pain.

If you suspect your dog is feeling neglected or understimulated, it’s worth taking seriously. But try to fact-check your suspicions. Dr. Ori Stollar, a veterinarian and behavior specialist with Massachusetts Veterinary Behavior Service, has been approached by many clients who assumed their dog had separation anxiety because they heard them barking whenever they left home and returned. “Then, they took my advice and recorded the dog alone and found out that once they were gone, the dog spent most of the time sleeping,” he says, “which is normal.”

So, how can you tell if your dog is actually lonely? Read on for expert advice.

How can you tell if your dog is lonely?

Your dog might not tell you they’re feeling lonely, but there will be signs. Dr. Stoller says that different dogs have different needs and coping mechanisms, just like humans do. “Some people don't mind being alone or might show subtle signs when lonely,” he says, “and so do dogs.” 

If you suspect your dog is feeling isolated, Dr. Stefanie Schwartz, a board-certified veterinary behaviorist and founder of Civilized Pet, recommends looking for agitated behavior. Agitation doesn’t necessarily mean your dog is lonely, but it’s a good starting point to determine if something might be wrong. 

Signs your dog might be lonely (or has some other unmet need) can include:

Destructive behavior

Think: “ripping through the closet and grabbing shoes,” Dr. Schwartz says. Sometimes, this can escalate into agitation and even more mayhem.

Restlessness

If your dog seems to be wearing a track into the floor, that’s a sign they can’t settle. 

“It could be lying down for a second, getting up and walking to the window and pacing along the windows, and going back to bed for two minutes and getting up again,” Dr. Schwartz says. “Or it could be non-stop wandering around the house, and that can escalate to running.

Excessive vocalization

We’re not talking a couple whines here and there. According to Dr. Stollar, this is more like “whining or barking non-stop.”

Inability to rest when you’re away

A dog suffering from separation anxiety often can’t sleep away from its parents, Dr. Stollar says. Instead, they’ll spend all their time staring at the door or acting out of fear. 

If your dog barks up a storm every time you leave, Dr. Stollar recommends using a camera to monitor their behavior while you’re away. Leave behind a few interactive toys, food puzzles, or long-lasting treats. Dogs who struggle when left alone usually will not eat or play, even with their favorite toys and treats, Stollar says. On the other hand, she adds that “a bored dog will usually take interest in these items until he gets bored with them.”

Accidents in your house

This one should go without saying. If your dog is peeing or pooping in your home, something is wrong.

Going wild every time another dog comes around

This one is a particularly solid clue, according to Dr. Schwartz. “If a dog is pulling on a leash, trying to get to another dog, wagging their tail, looking like they absolutely want to play, and busting out of their skin trying to get to them,” she says, “then I think that’s an obvious sign.”

Does loneliness look different from boredom?

According to Dr. Stollar, it definitely can. These are two separate experiences, so it’s worth determining which one is bugging your dog. To do this, you might try some (loving) surveillance.

How can you help your dog feel less lonely?

There’s nothing sadder than a big, watery pair of puppy-dog eyes. But before you start booking playdates and canceling your plans to spend all day with your dog on the couch, it’s worth figuring out why they’re lonely. Does your dog want more time with their fellow canines, or with you, or perhaps even a dog walker? 

Give them more attention

Some dogs prefer playtime, while others like a good cuddle on the couch. Whatever your dog likes, now is the time to consider giving them more of it. Doggie daycare or a midday stroll with a dog walker could also help, but only if your pooch is receptive to humans outside of their family.

“To know if your dog is the former or the latter,” Dr. Stollar says, give daycare or walks a try and ask your dog’s daytime guardian to report back. “For example, if the daycare personnel tell the caretaker that the dog was crying the entire time or was sitting in a corner and not interacting with people or staff, then it's not the solution for that dog.”

Make sure they have enough dog-on-dog time

Human interaction is great, but some dogs prefer hanging out with their own kind. Each pup is an individual, Dr. Schwartz says, “but the majority of dogs would benefit from the company of other dogs.” For example, dogs can play with each other in a way we never could engage with them. As Dr. Schwartz puts it, “They can’t play with us by grabbing our ears and dragging us in the dirt.” Point taken.

Meet their other basic needs

While you’re evaluating your dog’s general happiness levels, it’s worth making sure their other canine necessities are being satisfied as well. For example: If you’re in the habit of letting your dog out into the yard for some solo playtime, Dr. Schwartz cautions that your dog might not feel as intellectually stimulated as you think. 

“The yard is really just a holding pen,” Dr. Schwartz says. “It’s part of the bubble. You’ve got to get them out of the bubble.” That means putting on their leash and venturing out with them for an adventure that will exhaust both their body and mind.

Another commonly neglected need? Chewing. Specifically, gnawing. It’s instant anxiety relief, Dr. Schwartz says, and it’s best to let your dog do it for 15 to 20 minutes a day. (As a side benefit, this can also be great for their teeth.) 

Look for:

• Rawhide strips, rolls, and sticks

• Bully sticks (use caution with puppies)

• Cow and pig ears

• Sweet potato chips, celery sticks, and carrots

And avoid:

• Plastic and nylon

• Antlers, hooves, horns, and any real bones  

• Knotted rawhide

Should you get a second dog to keep your pup company?

Only get a second dog if you want a second dog. It’s a big decision, and you might regret bringing them home for a quick fix.

If you do want another dog, Dr. Stollar says it could potentially help a lonely pup — under the right conditions. For instance, if your dog’s issues stem from boredom and not from attachment issues, a companion could potentially provide more stimulation and engagement. At the same time, he cautions, if your dog is very attached to you and struggles to cope when you leave, “then adding another dog will either not help or sometimes might even create worse problems.”

Dr. Schwartz also urges against jumping the gun when it comes to bringing home another dog. “I wouldn't necessarily get another dog automatically out of desperation,” she says. If your dog seems lonely, she says, “I would still have the dog evaluated and then ask that veterinary behaviorist if getting another dog would be part of the solution.”