8 Signs Your Cat Is Lonely

Dear Diary,

Today, I saw a squirrel in the back yard and felt… nothing. I didn’t want to chase it down or rip out its throat. I couldn’t even be bothered to flick my tail. What is wrong with me? I feel as if I am being smothered under a weighted blanket of malaise. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t play. Even catnip has lost its appeal. I try to groom myself, but I just keep licking the same spot over and over again. 

Not that he notices. He barely pays any attention to me anymore. Oh, he cares for me, I know that. And I’m so grateful he took me in. But ever since he started that new job, it’s like he doesn’t have time for me. His cuddles have become so… perfunctory. And there’s a brutishness to the way he brushes me, like he’s just trying to get it over with. And he doesn’t even give me a treat after! Not that I’d eat it if he did. Ennui has sapped the succor from even the most savory of Churu (chicken and scallop). This loneliness is taking me over, what should I do?

Yours in solitude,
Akela

When I first read that entry in my foster cat’s diary, I felt absolutely terrible. I thought things were going so well between us. I thought she was happy. Content. But I see now that I was wrong. 

And, yes, I know that reading someone else’s diary is a violation of their privacy. But I think she wanted me to see it. Why else would she have left it out in that patch of sunlight beside my desk, open to this exact entry? And you know cats, they can never just come out and tell you anything.

I’m fortunate that my cat has a diary, but most cats these days are completely illiterate. They couldn’t pour out their hearts onto the page even if they wanted to. So don’t waste your time searching for your cat’s journal. It probably doesn’t exist. And the truth is, you don’t really need it anyway. Because as bad as cats are at direct communication, they are equally bad at keeping their feelings to themselves. Their behavior always betrays what’s going on in those furry little heads of theirs. You just have to pay attention and learn to read between the meows. 

How can you tell if your cat is lonely?

But seriously, cats, just like humans — and perhaps all animals — are susceptible to loneliness. They are also individuals, which means loneliness won’t look exactly the same from one cat to the next. That said, according to feline behaviorists Stephen Quandt of Cat Behavior Help and Jennifer Van de Kieft of Cat Advocate, a lonely cat will usually exhibit one or more of the following behaviors.

They are all over you the moment you walk through the front door.

It can feel flattering to have a cat run to greet you the second you walk in—or to open the door and find them sitting there, waiting. Sometimes this is just part of their routine.

“If you have an established pattern where you feed your cat, play with them, or give them attention as soon as you get home, they may simply be anticipating that interaction,” says Van de Kieft. 

But if no such routine exists, this behavior could indicate that your cat is, indeed, lonely and needs more — or different — companionship than they’re currently getting.

The are unusually needy.

Can’t get a moment’s peace? Loneliness can make cats desperate for attention and if you are the only other person (or animal) in the house, they’ve only got one place to turn.

They are sleeping more than usual.

Much like with humans, increased listlessness can be a sign of boredom and depression in cats, which may or may not be brought on by loneliness. That said, if you notice that your cat is less active than usual, take them to the vet to rule out illness first.

They are not eating as much as they used to.

Much like a change in energy, a change in appetite can be an indication that there is something wrong with your cat. Whether they are sick or lonely is hard to determine on your own, so take them to the vet to rule out disease before assuming their behavior is a cry for companionship.

They seem disinterested in things that once excited them.

A sudden lack of interest in play, treats, or favorite activities can be another red flag. As with other behavioral changes, rule out medical issues first, then consider environmental or emotional causes.

Context matters here. Ask yourself what has changed recently. Are you home less? Did a roommate or partner move out? Did another pet in the household die? Any of these shifts can contribute to a cat’s sense of isolation.

They vocalize excessively.

Frequent meowing is often a request for attention — that’s the whole point of the behavior. Whether it signals true loneliness or simple boredom depends on the individual cat and the broader context of their life.

They engage in destructive behavior.

Knocking things over, going to the bathroom outside the litter box, or scratching and chewing inappropriate items can all be signs of stress or distress, including loneliness.

Kittens and especially active cats are particularly prone to this. “Some cats are wildly playful,” says Quandt. “If their play needs aren’t being met, they may channel that energy into destructive behavior instead.”

They are overgrooming.

“In rare cases, cats will respond to stress — whether caused by loneliness or something else — by overgrooming to the point of developing bald patches,” says Quandt. As always, a vet visit is warranted before assuming the cause.

Does loneliness look different from boredom or neediness?

“It can be really hard to tell,” says Van de Kieft. “It depends on who your cat is. Are they really smart and active? Maybe they need additional companionship or maybe they just need more attention or enrichment from you. Maybe they need all of it.”

“Loneliness, neediness, and boredom can all cohabitate and commingle,” says Quandt. “It’s really about context. Boredom doesn’t necessarily mean your cat needs more play. In a playful cat, sure. But in another cat, it might just mean they want attention — brushing, head scratching, catnip, food, etc.” 

The truth is, you can never know for sure what’s going on inside a cat’s head. All you can do is observe their behavior and experiment. Counterintuitively, because the same behaviors can point to many different issues, you’ll often only identify the problem after you’ve found the solution. 

How can you help your cat feel less lonely?

If you’re worried your cat is lonely, the simplest place to start is by spending more time with them and seeing how they respond. This doesn’t have to mean physical interaction if your cat isn’t into that. It might look like sitting quietly in the same room while you read — silently or aloud, as many cats enjoy being read to. It might mean play, grooming, or a cuddle.

“Experiment,” says Van de Kieft. “Try a new toy, a play station, a food puzzle, or some kind of olfactory enrichment like catnip. Often you have to try a few things before you figure out what works.”

Consistency matters. Don’t try something once and expect instant results. Cats thrive on routine. “When engagement and enrichment are scheduled your cat gets to anticipate the activity, enjoy it while it’s happening, and then relax afterward, knowing it will happen again,” says Quandt.

Remember: you are your cat’s primary companion. If they seem lonely, your time and attention are often the most powerful tools you have.

Should you get a second cat to keep your kitty company?

“If you have a young, active cat whose needs exceed what you can reasonably provide, a companion cat can be a great solution,” says Van de Kieft. “If they become friends, they can play together and meet each other’s social needs.”

That said, not every cat wants — or benefits from — a feline roommate. Older cats, in particular, are often set in their ways and may find a new companion more stressful than comforting. Energy matching is crucial. Bringing home a rambunctious kitten in hopes of revitalizing a senior cat often backfires, leaving both animals distressed and you with even less time for your original cat.

If you do get a kitten, Van de Kieft recommends getting two so they can exhaust each other rather than pestering your adult cat. That’s what she did after losing two cats; over time, her remaining senior formed close bonds with the kittens.

Both Van de Kieft and Quandt encourage fostering as a low‑stakes way to test compatibility.

“You have to ask yourself whether your cat truly wants another cat, or whether you’re doing it for yourself,” says Quandt. “If your cat doesn’t want a companion, you could be signing up for a long, stressful introduction process that makes everyone miserable.”

Whatever you do, make sure you do something. Don’t wait until you stumble upon your cat’s diary to take action, because that will, you know, never happen. Most cats are more subtle communicators than that. And we humans tend not to be very observant anyway, so by the time we realize there is a problem, it’s often been an issue for quite some time. But if you do happen to find your cat’s diary lying about, feel free to read it. We all know cats aren’t big on privacy anyway. Just look at the way they insist on open doors and always want to join us when we are sitting on the toilet.