Veterinarians Share The Funniest Pet Names They’ve Ever Heard

There comes a moment in every pet parent’s life when it becomes necessary to say your pet’s name out loud in public, where other humans can hear. Other humans who aren’t part of the beautifully unique relationship you and your pet share, and who don‘t understand what an incredibly cool and meaningful name ‘Galadriel, Elf Queen of Lothlórien’ really is.

Even those of us who chose more understated names for our pets understand the awkwardness of saying our pet’s name out loud. Shouting our dog’s name across the park feels like we’re revealing a part of ourselves. After all, unless your pet is a rescue whose name you didn’t change, their name is an insight into who you are – considering you were the one who chose it. Isn’t that right, dog parent to Countess von Fluffenstuff III?

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One group of people who are party to every pet name under the sun are the good people who work in your local vet practice. From nurses to vets, practice managers to admin assistants, these folks have heard every pet name under the sun and, over on Reddit, they’re sharing the names that made them smile the most. Turns out that yes, they are laughing at your pet’s name but that rather than laughing at you, your funny pet names provide them with a comedic boost to their day.

Entries have been edited slightly for clarity.

Funniest pet names vets have heard

1. “My favourite was a cat named ‘Captain Bunny Pants’, mostly because the wife named the cat, but the husband always came to do pick-ups and looked deeply ashamed every time he said it. Yes, I made him say it even after I knew who he was.”

-Morgueannah

2. “Vet tech here. Best one was a tiny little Chihuahua named ‘Bone Crusher’. He was owned by an amateur bodybuilder. The guy was like 6‘4” and close to 300lbs. Funny situation, all in all.”

-YouMightKnowOfMe

3. “‘Kinky’, a Cornish Rex kitten adopted by an elderly couple who loved her kinked fur.“

-liquid_sounds

4. “Luke Skywhisker.”

-precision95

5. “‘LL Drool J’ – I think he was a pug.”

-s conniefatcat2

6. “It was a pair – ‘Bob’ and ‘Not Bob’.”

-dck133

7. “We have a family that comes in and their cats are named ‘Frickin Bats Von Tofu’ and ‘Lord Johan Von Hotpockets’.”

-wh0staryn

8. “I have a feline patient called ‘Boobs’.”

-Doris_Plum

9. “Not a vet, but a friend has a rescue Sphynx cat named ‘Skindiana Jones’. We call her Skindy.”

-5_phx_felines

10. “Some of my favourite pet names in our system are ‘Professor Poopy Paws’, ‘5 Star Yelp Review’, ‘Beefy 5 Layer Burrito’, and ‘Nose’ – all cats!”

-gateface970

11. “‘Pocket Lint’ (a fluffy grey cat) is one of my favourites.”

-BallpointTattoos

12. “‘Cleocatra’ with sister ‘Purrsephone’.”

-malpalgal

13. We had a client who had five kids ranging from preteen to three years old, and she let each of them help name the new dog. So I got to treat ‘Princess Peacock Unicorn Sparkle Puppycomehere’.

-SootyFeralChild

14. “A cat named ‘Mr Sexy Boots’.”

-Any_Sundae_24

15. “Golden Retriever called ‘Cedric Doggery’.”

-El-Justiciero

16. And finally: “Mr Breakfast”.

-DrSNathan