Is Your Dog Jealous of Your Phone?

For thousands of years, dogs have been right by our side – first as hunting partners and protectors, and now as family members, best friends and even part of our emotional support network. The phrase “man’s best friend” isn’t just a cliché; it reflects a bond built on trust and loyalty.

But in today’s technology-driven world, there’s a new connection in our homes – our screens. Devices have become ever-present companions, often stealing the attention our dogs once had all to themselves.

Navigating life with a new pet? Head to littleKin!

littleKin™ is Kinship’s home just for puppy and kitten parents. Bop over to check out expert advice, new pet tools, and special deals—all curated for your newest family member.

Get Free Advice

As a certified canine behaviourist, I find it easy to question how much our phones get in the way of our relationships with our dogs in our hyper-connected world. And, while we often focus on the human impact of screen time, we shouldn’t overlook the perspective of our canine companions, whose primary source of social interaction is us.

Understanding your dog’s social capabilities

Dogs have developed remarkable social skills over thousands of years. While canine body language is their main form of communication, they are skilled at reading human cues as well. Their connection with humans has gone beyond basic caregiving needs like food – they now actively seek shared experiences with the people in their lives. Scientists have discovered that human and dog brain waves synchronise during social interactions, which provides a clearer insight into why our bond with dogs is so unique and special.

Think of your dog looking at your plate of food, then giving you those eyes before looking back to the plate. Or you’re both looking at an approaching friend on a walk. These are examples of joint attention – sharing focus on an object or event with another individual. When we're absorbed in our screens, our dogs can’t share the experience with us. We’re a void – and our eyes, the most critical tool for this shared focus, are locked on a device.

Removing our focus for extended periods of screen time disrupts our bonding opportunity. It can leave our dog feeling disconnected, as their attempts to engage in a shared experience is met without feedback.

Has your dog ever looked to you for guidance in a novel scenario? ‘Social referencing’ refers to when a dog looks to its human for cues on how to react in an ambiguous situation. Say your dog finds something odd on a walk – they might look at you to see if it’s safe to approach. If we remain calm and positive, then we’re indicating to our dog that the object is safe. A 2016 study also found that dogs use us to help them decide whether to approach a stranger. If you tend to be glued to your phone on walks, while you are physically present with your dog, you have left them alone, socially. 

How your dog might respond to your screen addiction

Your dog may feel frustrated when you’re absorbed in your phone, and in response, show various attachment behaviours to reconnect with you. While these might seem like simple attention-seeking and even feel annoying at times, they are your dog’s way of keeping your bond secure. They might paw at you, nudge you or sit staring intently. If their frustration grows, they may bark or even try to push the device out of your hands. And if certain strategies – like stealing items or jumping up – have ever succeeded in gaining your attention before (no matter how negatively), your dog may repeat them.

The impact of screen time isn't always obvious – it may be subtle. Displacement behaviours are physical ways for dogs to cope with stress or anxiety when their normal methods of communication are ineffective. Your dog might excessively groom themselves, chew a toy frantically or pace around the room. These self-soothing behaviours can indicate that your dog is feeling upset and they need somewhere for their frustrated energy to go. 

When we ignore our dogs’ body language and keep interacting in ways they dislike, they can slip into learned helplessness – giving up trying to influence their environment after repeated failure. In the case of screen time, if your dog keeps trying to engage but is consistently met with disengagement, they may stop trying altogether. While this might feel like peace and quiet, it weakens your bond, and when you later want your dog to respond, they may not, because the connection is no longer strong.

On the other hand, some dogs might go the opposite way and become more hypervigilant. They might follow you around frantically, watching your every move for some opportunity to reconnect. That uncertainty in your bond makes them feel the need to check in often, hoping for the next moment of connection.

Reducing screen time and rekindling your connection

If you’re feeling mortified that your phone use might be impacting your bond with your dog – don’t panic! We can easily make changes that will be positive for both ends of the lead. 

One of the most effective strategies is to establish phone-free zones or times of the day. For example, you could commit to leaving your phone in your pocket for the entirety of your dog walks. Or that after 8pm, your phone goes onto ‘do not disturb’. If you’re home during the day with your dog, you could set an alarm to remind you to down-tools and spend ten minutes with your dog in the garden.

It can be useful to give physical cues, even if brief, that show your dog you’re checking in on them. If they’re lying near you, a gentle word or brief stroke of their body (if they’re comfortable with touch), can draw you back into their focus. Interactions don’t need to be long to be effective – even short moments of connection can keep the flow of communication going and prevent the buildup of frustration.

It can also be good to help your dog to be self-fulfilled at times when you can’t entertain them. Using enrichment activities allows your dog to engage in some solo play or sniffing time. And helping them to feel relaxed when separated from you, means you can take some time in another room when you really do need to use your screen for an extended period of time. 

Prevention is better than cure

As a behaviourist, I’m always trying to support my clients to be their dog’s best advocate – to be proactive in recognising any behavioural signs early on so that we’re not trying to resolve much bigger challenges down the line.

If your dog’s ‘attention-seeking’ behaviours are escalating, it might be a sign that their needs are not being met. If they are becoming restless or showing signs of distress when home alone, they might be experiencing some anxiety. If they appear to be pushing boundaries or are regressing in areas that they previously had excellent training in, then they could be stressed or finding it difficult to communicate effectively with you. It’s important to notice these changes early on and to get the help you need from an ethical dog behaviourist.

Our dogs live in the here and now. Even if your dog occasionally enjoys watching TV with you, they won’t fully understand the extent of our digital lives, but they can notice the absence of our attention. By being more present and more intentional with our time, we can ensure the use of screens doesn’t impact both our own well-being and that of the dogs we share our lives with.

Resources

• Duranton, C., Bedossa, T. and Gaunet, F. (2016). When facing an unfamiliar person, pet dogs present social referencing based on their owners’ direction of movement alone. Animal Behaviour, 113, pp.147–156.

• Ren, W., Yu, S., Guo, K., Lu, C. and Zhang, Y.Q. (2024). Disrupted Human–Dog Interbrain Neural Coupling in Autism‐Associated Shank3 Mutant Dogs. Advanced Science.