‘How Can I Stop My Dog From Being Overly Protective of Me?’

Dog trainer Robert Haussmann’s tips for dealing with a protective dog that’s taken their duties too far

October 31, 2023

My dog, Covid, is very protective of me, which is good to an extent. But he won’t even allow my 16-year-old and 20-year-old kids to hug me without getting defensive towards them. I’m not sure if he is just intimidating them or if he will really attack them, but I don’t want to find out. What can I do to prevent this from happening? – Amanda

This is a scary problem to have, especially when kids are involved. The truth is, it’s also a hard question to give a straightforward answer to. A lot depends on your dog’s motivation. Is your dog protecting you? Is he resource guarding? Is he in fear of the kids? I’d also want to observe your dog’s body language while going toward your kids – is he barking and growling? Is his hair standing on end?

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In general, I would focus on utilising a ‘stay’ command in this case, ideally through a barrier like a baby gate – but not something as obstructing as, say, a tall fence. Have the dog do a ‘stay’ command, then have your kids approach. Give them a hug, move away and give Covid a high-value reward. Repeat this many times. What you’re trying to do is change the dog’s emotional association to people approaching and hugging you. You might want to start with actions smaller than a hug, such as a handshake, or just talking in close proximity.

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As far as Covid’s behaviour toward your children, if it seems truly scary and aggressive, you’ll need to expose him to increasingly challenging versions of the things that stress him out. I’d wager that this isn’t the only thing that makes Covid wig out. There’s something called a ‘relaxation protocol’ – the Karen Overall Relaxation Protocol – that you can find online. I’d start with that and have some of the last things you do involve family members approaching for a hug. If there’s true danger, I would make sure there is space between the family and the dog while doing this.

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Sometimes, people train a dog to do a ‘stay’ command through a barrier and the dog still reacts when they’re right next to their pet parent, even if they don’t have a problem from a metre and a half away. In this case, you would have to practise in closer and closer proximity.

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At that point, while practising, you might want to consider a muzzle to make sure we’re keeping everybody safe. Keep in mind that muzzle training is its own separate task – you shouldn’t just slap a muzzle on a dog. You would need to go through muzzle desensitisation. I recommend The Muzzle Project for help doing this. Work on training – the ‘stay’ command and counter conditioning toward family members – while doing muzzle desensitisation. Then, as you’re getting closer and closer, you can combine the muzzle and the training protocol.

Best of luck solving this problem. Remember to always prioritise safety, and be patient with yourself and your dog.

Robert Haussmann, CPDT-KA

Robert Haussmann is a Certified Professional Dog Trainer, Canine Behavior Consultant, and Co-founder of Dogboy NYC. He is licensed under the Certification Council for Professional Dog Trainers and has been working with dogs and advising their humans since 2003. With over 25 years of experience, he is an experienced trainer and focuses on puppy training, foundation training, basic manners, agility, behavior modification with an expertise in challenging behaviors such as separation anxiety, fear, and aggression. He founded Dogboy NYC in 2005 to help canine and human clients navigate the complex urban jungle of New York City.

Through creative, practical, and humane solutions, Robert specializes in helping dogs overcome behavior issues like fear, phobias, anxiety, and aggression. He advises clients on the best practices for helping their dogs thrive at home and beyond.

Since he was a child, Robert has had an inherent interest and deep connection with dogs. After college he contemplated a career with animals. Robert studied animal behavioral science with a strong focus on applied behavior analysis and operant conditioning to begin his education as a professional dog trainer. To this day, Robert is fascinated by the human-dog connection and continues to learn through professional and educational development.

Robert met his wife Kim in 2000. He quickly earned the nickname “Dogboy” through his ability to find, befriend, and safely return stray dogs to their owners and nearby shelters. When Robert and Kim began brainstorming business names in 2004, Dogboy NYC became the obvious right choice. They live in Brooklyn with their daughter and their fuzzy rescue dog Josie.

Training includes Puppy Training, Basic Manners, and Behavior Modification. He facilitates group classes such as Puppy Social Group, Basic Manners, Introduction to Agility, Tricks Class, and Introduction to Scent Work.